Glossary (updated 14th August 2010)

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- PREAMBLE -

This glossary has evolved over several years. It is not comprehensive, and is a cricket forum glossary, not a dictionary, so terms in wider-than-forum-usage (eg 'LOL'), or popular forum catchphrases with very obvious meaning (eg 'get ****** Horrie') may not be listed. It is intended to exist as a depository for terms, words or phrases that have entered common usage in the forum, although others may be included because they tickle the compilers' collective fancy.

The earliest edition was collated by Zat and published by Nath, two ABC forumers, following discussions on the now closed ABC Cricket Forum in early 2003, in some sort of effort to make the place a little less bewildering to newer users. Several additions to the glossary were made before that forum abruptly closed later that year. Around this time, many ABC 'inmates' moved on to join the cricket forum administered by UK broadcaster C4, where they found an existing group of sometimes like-minded cricket 'tragics'. The glossary went with them, and grew further … with adoption of some pre-existing C4 terms, and development of new terms.

In 2007, sadly, usage of the C4 forum fell away, mainly due to inconsistent moderation and changed opening hours, at which point many of its inmates moved on to the Flaming Bails Cricket Forum (a short-lived informe-hosted Mark I, and the current Mark II). Updates to the glossary became less frequent during this period.

This version (4.2 by Zat's rather loose record-keeping) began as an unauthorised update by ex-ABC forumer lardbucket and FB editor Dello, before Zat came back on board. Many forumers have pointed out inaccuracies and omissions from previous additions, and the compilers thank them for their efforts. Some forumers have worked long and hard to create entries for the glossary, the compilers thank them for the sometimes entertaining conversations that ensued, but would like to remind them of the glossary purpose as outlined in the opening paragraph.

Any further growth will depend entirely on suggestions from ongoing forum contributors, and someone doing the compiling and editing work. A thread for glossary suggestions, amendments and commentary will periodically appear in the 'Announcements & Rikki' section of the main Flaming Bails Forum.

None of the ABC nor C4 nor forumotion endorse this glossary, although if any of them would ever like to publish it as a book, Zat would probably be happy to accept the royalties!

- A word from Zat -

At one stage, this glossary was known as the "David Hookes, You Bloody Legend, Memorial Cricket Forum Glossary" at the suggestion of forum regular "tailender" on the C4 forum on January 20, 2004, "In honour of his ineffable contributions to the game and the Forum Glossary".

Providing further context to this suggestion, here's an article of mine originally posted on that forum on 19/1/2004 (subsequently edited for use here):

"Many will recall the Centenary test against England in 1977. His first test, and five successive fours off Tony Greig.

I had moved to Canberra in mid-1985, but went back to Melbourne for the Boxing Day test against India. I was very excited, as I was a teenager going on holidays without my parents for the first time, and looking forward to the cricket.

This match featured a young guy by the name of Steve Waugh, who many tipped for great things, making his debut.

It was also the last time in the baggy green cap for one David William Hookes. He scored 42 in the first innings, but in the second dig wound up with a first-ball gozzie. Fortunately for Australia, rain came and washed out the tail end of the match, meaning India didn't win. Come 4pm on the final day, it was obvious that the rain was not going to let up, and if I recall correctly, the team for the Sydney test had been announced. Without Hookes.

After the match had been declared a draw, I was one of the few left at the ground, and after hanging around outside the team rooms for a while, a group of supporters walked across to Jolimont railway station. For those who don't know, the station is en route to the Hilton Hotel, where teams, officials, etc used to stay for the MCG test.

Before our train arrived, we looked up at the pedestrian overpass, and saw three Aussie test cricketers making their way over the bridge to the hotel. I don't remember who two of them were, but I do remember David Hookes. He'd obviously decided to mark his omission from the next test, and the probable end of his career in the traditional Aussie manner. He was having trouble walking, and looked like he'd demolished half-a-day's output from the Carlton and United Brewery.

I'd heard the news that his Test career was probably over, and decided some encouragement for one of my childhood heroes was necessary ... and my teenage voice sang out loudly "ONYA HOOKESY YOU BLOODY LEGEND!" He looked down in my general direction. He probably didn't see who'd said it, but he waved, and gave a thumbs up …

I can't think of a more apt way to say farewell, than to repeat it.

ONYA HOOKESY YOU BLOODY LEGEND!"

[Dello]

~ THE GLOSSARY ~

2020: According to TYA, the 21st year of the new millennium.
240Z: A 20-20 match at any level, up to 240 legitimate balls and best slept through.


AB (n) Abbreviation/nickname of Alan Border - legendary Australian captain who pulled Australia out of the mire of the darkest days of Aus cricket, the mid 1980s.
AGBB (acronym) Absolutely Gang Bustingly Berserk. When a batsman bucks the trend of sedate, attritional cricket and starts swinging for the stands (see also Earl of Tonkaville, The).
AFAIK (abbrev.) "As Far As I Know". Not devised by the forum, but in wide use in it
Aloo (n) (1) Inzamam-ul-Haq (Pak) (2) a potato.
Anderson Cycle, The (n) Untested hypothesis where statistics, astrology and voodoo meet in an attempt to predict ahead of time when James Anderson will next bowl in a manner not deemed "risible".
Andre Bichelle (n) Andy Bichel (Aus)
Apparently (adv) A word used in net-forum-land by habitual bull-artists to cover the fact that they have no evidence to support whatever piece of low-rent gossip they're spreading, because they most likely just made it up.
Apple (n) Indian player and latter-day captain, Anil Kumble, a play on the popular English dessert 'Apple Crumble'
Ashocker[b] also [b]Ashocker de Silva (n) Asoka de Silva (SrL), former player, appointed (and reappointed) to the International Elite Umpiring Panel
Aquackar (n) Ajit Agarkar (India). Devised by 'Ordinary Person'. In his first series against Australia, he managed five successive ducks.
Armpits (n) Ravi Shastri (Ind) Former player, current commentator and sweat-monster.


B-grade (n) Shoaib Akhtar: An actor, and < A-grade. qv FIGJAM, Chuckhtar.
Baa Baa (n) A 'polite' term for a New Zealand cricketer (plural = Baa Baas). Well, it's more polite than explicit suggestions about relationships with sheep.
Bacchus (n) Former Australian wicketkeeper, and drinking legend, Rod Marsh. 'Bacchus' was the ancient Roman god of wine and revelry. 'Bacchus Marsh' is a town about 50km from the Melbourne CBD, on the way to Ballarat.
Badger (n) Paul Reiffel.
Bage (n) What is bowled by James Anderson when the ball doesn't swing, or he is in one of his phases of crapness (see "Anderson Cycle"). Abbreviation of "garbage", but pronounced rather like the colour "beige".
BanIndia (v) A catchcry that is used by many non-sub-continental posters in the wake of the IPL and its cheaping of cricket in general.
Bannie (n) Term used to refer to people of the sub-continent. Derived from BanIndia. See BanIndia.
Barrels (n) Term used to refer to South Australians or the South Australian Cricket team. Derived from the Snowtown (SA) murders of 1992 where victims where stored in barrels.
Basement (n) Where poster tac allegedly lives, a place owned by his Mum. Numerous contributors have suggested that tac also has several goats for company.
BCCoarIab also BCCOARIAB refer COARIAB
Belf (n) Ian Bell. Derived from a Dello 2009 Advent Calender entry in which Bell was depicted as a Elf. Bell Elf = Belf. See also Ding Dong
Billy McSofty (n) Craig McDermott. AB was visibly disgusted in England in 1985 when McDermott could not bowl with a ruptured appendix.
Bing (n) Brett Lee (Australia). Derived from the discount electrical goods chain in New South Wales 'Bing Lee'
Bitter Vomits: Victorians. See also Vile Vixen
Bix (n) Andy Bichel (Australia)
Blee (n) Brett Lee (Australia)
Blobster (n) Robert Key
BNG (abbrev.) also Brown Nosed Gnome (n) Former Australian player Justin Langer.
A reference to Langer as a gnome was originally made during cricinfo's online text-based coverage of a domestic one-day match between Western Australia and Queensland, which a surprising proportion of forumers seem to have been viewing (reading?) when it happened. For just a few minutes, the commentary "Edmondson to Maher, OUT: bit of a cross-bat slog straight to the brown nose gnome at mid on." was visible on the screen, before it was later removed. Later, during Langer's final Test, Cricket Australia labelled ongoing 'oblique' cricinfo references to gnomes whilst discussing Langer as "juvenile, disrespectful and gratuitous", which probably explains why the term continues to be used in this forum, especially by Bitter Vomits (qv). See NLWL (qv) for contrast.
Bog (n) Shaun Marsh (Australia) Son of Geoff 'Swamp' Marsh, 'bog' being a little marsh.
Boof (n) Darren Lehmann (Australia) … see also HFRS (hairy fat racist slug)
Brazen (n) Michael Hussey (Western Australia). Devised by regular contributor 'Fred Nerk'
Brazen, Little (n) David Hussey (Victoria) Younger brother of Michael Hussey. See also 'Brazen'
Bubbles (n) NSW player Dougie Bollinger. See also Doug the Rug and Ruggy.
Bung (n, usu. derog.) Brett Lee. Refer Bing.


Canteen ladies (n) Derogatory term used by poster tac to describe posters discussing the latest of their favourite TV episodes.
Captain Grumpy (n) Allan Border (compiler bows and doffs hat, we are not worthy)
Captain Drunky (n) Ricky Ponting (following some well publicised incidents involving alcohol early in his career)
Captain Idiot (n. derog) Ricky Ponting, most often used when he has made a decision not widely understood by many within the forum, or even by kindergarten children. For example, at Edgbaston in 2005, 'We'll have a bowl'
Captain Obvious (n) A common derogatory term aimed at posters who lack subtlety
Captain Positive (n) Michael Vaughan. See also 'Virgil', 'Goebbels'.
Captain Sook (n) Kim Hughes
Cartman (n) Shane Warne. Derived from the animated TV series 'South Park’.
Cat (n) A player who regularly benefits from more than his fair share of bad umpiring decisions, seemingly needing nine lives for any big innings. Always an opposition player.
CBER (n) Cheating Boggle-Eyed Runt (Muttiah Muralitharan)
Chappelli (n) Ian Chappell, former astute and successful Australian captain, current commentator, and lifetime qunt. See also Crappelli.
chappelli (n) Standard FB unit of quntishness (also 'IMC units'). A score of 0.5 chappellis would be a very high score for an individual other than IMC.
Chav (n) Stereotypical rough young person from the UK. A sledge often used between English posters, most commonly on this forum as an insulting term aimed at Essex (the county/team/supporters).
cheaping (v) Cheapening, a conjecture-laden verb applied to Test cricket and in particular unexpectedly meritorious performances against a less than Herculean adversary. Steve Harmison's early 'stellar' performances v the West Indies and Nathan Astle's rapid-fire double century v England are probably the best examples, although (derivation) it was forumer 'Matt' who initially asked whether Jason Gillespie's double hundred v Bangladesh was 'cheaping' Test cricket.
Cheat (n) Opponent or Umpire in a match involving India.
Cheese (n) Jason Arnberger (New South Wales)
Chip (n) Queenslander. See also Q’billy, Q’banjo.
Chip Central (n) Brisbane. Also known as East Ipswich. The natural home of RD.
Choke (v) To collapse when in sight of victory or a face-saving draw.
Chuck (n) Used as a substitute first name for a bowler who has been accused of chucking (or at least of having a suspect bowling action) at some stage of his career. Players labelled with this epithet include Muttiah Muralitharan (Sri Lanka), Shoaib Akhtar (Pakistan), and Brett Lee (Australia)
Chuckhtar (n) Shoaib Akhtar. Refer 'Chuck'
CLC (n) Cheating Little Coward
Clutchen (n) Andrew Strauss (devised by regular forum contributor "embee")
Coach Grandstand Head (n) David Hookes
COARIAB Unable to arrange a sexual encounter in a house of ill repute. Usually most appropriately applied to the BCCI and other Indian cricketing organisations, but also appropriate to some other cricketing 'organisations' eg CA and SACB on occasions.
Codger Australian player Shaun Tait, a man seemingly old before his time, and for whom 'cogitate' would be highly ironic. See also Spud (qv) and Lack (qv).
Coldplay (n) New Zealand bowler and legendary rabbit Chris Martin. Derived from the band of the same name fronted by his musical namesake, who quite possibly has more talent as a batsman.
Con (n) Nickname given to NSW and occasional Australian Test player Phil Hughes. Derived from Con-Phews (Confuse). See also Phews.
Conf eg Confov yorker inswing low (n.) Normally found in phrase "conf of hat" (see hat). 'Conf' might be explained away as 'confabulation', 'confusion' 'confidence', 'confection', or 'conference'; however it is none of and all of the above.
Cot (n) Nickname of Australian player Peter Siddle. Derived from SIDS or Cot Death. See also Sewer.
Cowjuice Cup (n) Pura Cup. See also MooMoo
Crab (n) 1. Exasperatingly slow-scoring batsman, 2, Wozzie (qv), 3. combination of the above. 4. (vb) to be an exasperatingly slow batter (habitually or at time of reference)
Crabbitch (n) Simon Katich, refer 3. in Crab (qv)
Crappelli (n) Ian Chappell in his more bullcarp mood.

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Davey Gravey (n) English cricket official, perceived by may within the forum as a gravy train siphon, David Graveney.
Dello (n) Former Forum God and collective cult hero. Now replaced by Fromage as the Big Cheese.
DHBS (n, abbrev) "Dopey Hairy-Backed Sheila" David Hookes' description of a South African woman who alleged she was involved in a text-message and sex scandal with Shane Warne.
DILLIGAF Acronym for Do I Look Like I Give a Fark. Possibly the most noble of the GAF family that includes As If I, I Couldn’t, Who, Does Anybody, I Don’t and I Really Don’t.
Ding Dong (n) Ian Bell (Eng)
Direbyshire (n) English county Derbyshire, for whom the word 'dire' sometimes just isn't enough. The county was stripped of FC (qv) status for a period in the late 19th century, and in the 1897 season didn't record a single win. Derbyshire has won the County FC championship once. In 1936. And their supporters have had to be content with three ODD (qv) titles since then. At the time of writing, Derbyshire had been unable even to progress past the final eight of the Twenty20 cup. Direbyshire is not used to reference the mid 1990s English county player Nick Derbyshire, despite his FC career figures being the rather dire 52 runs at 13, and 5 wickets at 60.6, SR 102 in 5 matches. Rather disappointingly, he didn't play for Derbyshire, but plied his trade for Lancashire and Essex.
Dizzy (n) Jason Gillespie. Adopted after historic jazz musician.
DLTDHYOTAOTWO Acronym for Don't Let The Door Hit You On The A*se On The Way Out. Usually a parting remark to flouncers.
Dogscratch (n) Simon Katich. Derived from 'cat itch' … see also ‘Fleas’
Doug the Rug (n) Nickname of Doug Bollinger due to his hair plugs/hair-piece. See also Bubbles and Ruggy.
Drunky refer Captain Drunky
Dubbers (n) NSW Cricket team, also New South Wales residents in general. Devised by regular contributor 'horace'. Derived from NSW; with the W pronounced as in George 'Dubya'. Evil and stupidity conveyed in a single letter.
Dubya (n) Ricky Ponting (Aus) who from some angles bears a striking resemblance to the President of the USA from 2000 - 2008, George W ('Dubya') Bush.
Duckbutter (n) Grimy build up beneath one’s testicles. A lubricant poster tac is fond of mentioning in reference to poster DJ_Smerk.
Duckman (n) Ajit Agarkar (Indian Player).
Dudders (n, derog.) NSW Cricket Team. Refer 'Dubbers'.


Earl of Tankerville, The (n) The good Earl was part of the committee that introduced the middle stump. Prior to that, a batsman who allowed the ball to pass through the gate was given out "bowled", but if the umpire didn't notice, that was just tough luck for the bowler.
Earl of Tonkaville, The (n) Darren Lehmann. Batsman who likes to “Go the Tonk”, that is, smash the ball about.
East Ipswich (n) see Chip Central
Eggs (n) Beau Casson. Derived (by embee) from Casson ova.
Elementary (n) Shane Watson (see also m'dear).


FAC (abbrev.) Future Australian Captain. Applied to many young, talented Australian players, often before debut. Regularly given greater use in reference to players from NSW, in whom talent is optional.
Fat Boy Slim (n) Shane Warne
Fat Julio Lair (n) Shane Warne. Also refer to 'Julio'. Credited to forum contributor "Mick Sawyer".
Fat-lipped Freak (n) Andrew Flintoff (see also Flintosser). Attributed to VoR (Invader Zim)
Fat retarded Vomit (n) Brad Hodge (see also FRV, Podge, Taypodge). Attributed to VoR (Invader Zim).
FBS (n) see 'Fat Boy Slim'
FC (abbrev.) First Class. Like you really needed to be told. And never, ever used to shorten any phrase beginning with the word 'fat'.
FCOL (abbrev.) For Crying Out Loud. Not devised by the forum, but in wide use in it.
FEC (abbrev.) Future England Captain. Usually applied to any England player on his debut. Often given greater use with South African imports.
Feltch (n) Former Zimbabwe international and England coach, Duncan Fletcher. Usually used by his detractors, the deliberate reversal of letters in the more conventional and probably expected 'Fletch' brings the tag into line with a more widely used derogatory street slang term.
Fern also Ferny (n) Nathan Bracken
Festive (adjective) A euphemism for overtly (if not arrogantly) gay. 'Gay' was deemed unacceptable to the apparently homophobic C4 editorial staff. In the absence of a Kenneth Williams emoticon, the Santa icon is traditionally used.
FFS (abbrev.) For F**k's Sake (not devised by the forum, but in wide use). qv 'Lewis FFS'.
FGS (abbrev.) For God's Sake. Not devised by the forum, but in wide use in it.
FIGJAM (acronym) F**k I’m Good, Just Ask Me = Shoaib Akhtar. qv B-grade.
Flintosser (n) Andrew Flintoff (see also Fat-lipped Freak). Another Zim/VoR endearment.
FMS (abbrev.) For Mod's Sake. Refer 'Mod' (qv)
FJL (n) see 'Fat Julio Lair'
Flanders, Ned (n) Australian team coach John Buchanan.
Fleas (n) Simon Katich. Derived from 'cat itch'.
Flounce (v) To storm off in a hissy fit after being displeased by forum activity, often never to return.
foow (n) or (v) a reverse 'woof', or the act of uttering a reverse woof (qv)
froginablenda Paul Adams, former South African bowler. Max 'Tangles' Walker had a textbook smooth and simple action by comparison.
Fromage (n) Current Forum Warden.
FRV (abbrev.) Fat Retarded Vomit (qv), Brad Hodge.
FTB (n, abbrev.) Flat Track Bully. A cricketer who performs well in one set of circumstances (eg at home on easy wickets) but poorly elsewhere.
FWIW (abbrev.) "For What It's Worth". Not devised by the forum, but in wide use in it.


GAF Acronym for Give A Fark. See DILLIGAF for the full range of the GAF family.
GBH (n) Grievous Bodily Harmison. English player Steve Harmison c. 2004-5, particularly during the 2005 Ashes series. Refer also Harmless-one (qv).
GinGan (n) Indian Player Sourav Ganguly. Derived from the old scout song "GinGanGoolyGoolyGoolyGooly Wotcher". See also 'LB'.
Gilly (n) A World Cup. Derived from an unsavoury exchange at the 2003 cricket World Cup tournament between Pakistan player Rashid Latif, and Australia player Adam Gilchrist (Gilly). Gilchrist alleged that Latif called him an unsavoury, racially-motivated, 2-word term also beginning with the letters W and C. Regular forum contributor, R.Darling, introduced the expression 'Gilly' in later discussions about the event.
Ginger (n) Chris Rogers (aka Ginger Wozzie Vomit)
Ginger Ninja (n) Shaun Pollock
God (n) Dennis Lillee. Devised by regular ABC forum contributor 'The Austrian'.
Goebbels (n) Michael Vaughan (Eng) reckoned by some detractors to be a tireless propagandist. Often mis-spelled 'Gerbils' for some reason. See also 'Yawn', 'Captain Positive', Virgil'.
GoJo (n) Geraint Owen Jones, MBE. One of England's foreign legion, awarded an MBE for being part of the 2005 Ashes-winning squad. See also SiJo, 'cheaping'.
Good Times 1. Standard forum response to bad times. 2. Standard forum response to times when anything was different.
Goose, The (n) Doug Marillier (Zimbabwe). Devised by regular contributor 'Ordinary Person'.
Grace, Mr. (n) One of the Waugh twins. Refers to the British TV sitcom of the 70s & 80s 'Are you being served?' The proprietors of the shop were Old Mr Grace, and Young Mr Grace. They were both elderly. Devised by regular contributor 'ccc'. See also OMG.
Great Warthog, The (n) Head of Nine TV network, Kerry Packer.
Grub, The (n) Shane Warne. Devised by forumer and Warne 'fan' Mick Sawyer.
Gump (n) Stuart Clark. Rent the Tom Hanks movie, then have a look at Clark. See also 'subi' (qv), Sarfraz.

[Dello]

Haddit (n) Nickname of Australian wicketkeeper Brad Haddin.
HALATSB also HAL@TSB (abbrev.) Have A Look At The Scoreboard. Reference often made by supporters of the team doing better in a match, or indeed that has won a match. Most often used in response to claims of a 'moral victory' or after a disputed umpiring decision. Sometimes extended to HALATSBDH, though the DH is more usually implied.
Harmless-one (n) England player Steve Harmison 2006-onwards, particularly during the 2006-7 Ashes series. Refer also GBH (qv).
Hat Pseudo-gibberish posting style taken to extremes by the later banned Mr Hat and Mr Clog on the C4 cricket forum.
In January 2004, forum veteran JC supplied Zat with the following background: It is suspected that the first incident of 'hat' was an innocent typing mistake, whereby a 'W' was missed at the start of 'What of confidence in India' resulting in 'hat of conf of India?'
'The original poster, whose identity is sadly lost in the annals of history, then went on to post gems pertaining to Indian confidence being as big as Waqar's inswinging yorker in several unintentionally hilarious rants. Veteran forumers Gaz, Rich and various others then adopted 'Hat of conf' as an official forum culture, which quickly developed its own lexicon of lunacy and an obsession with inswinging yorkers from retired Pak legend Waqar Younis.
Therefore, 'conf' is a cricketing term that pertains to good form with bat and/or ball, while 'hat' continues to be difficult to define, like those long German words that have no direct translation into English. Language evolves, even if its derivative source is a typo by someone posting not in his first language.
JC adds: We all have a 'hat' and there is a little 'hat' in (or on) all of us. When we put on our 'hat' to embrace this most arcane and yet fascinating and charming subculture, we each add our own take into the meaning of 'hat'. It is everything, and yet nothing. As in "What a lot of Hat" when someone posts rubbish.
Hattie: (n) Phil Jaques
Haurie (n) Nickname of Australian off-spinner Nathan Hauritz. Not to be confused with poster horace, commonly known as horrie.
Hawaii (n) Glenn McGrath. 'Hawaii 5-0', named for McGrath's highly publicised aim for a 5-0 whitewash of England in 2005. He didn't make it past the warm-up on day 1 of test 2, and the rest is history ... his prediction was out by 2 years. Derived by OP.
Haydos (n) Matt Hayden
Hearsay (n) a meticulous first-hand account, witnessed by 3 JPs.
Hella (adv.) An adverb alternative to very, or extremely. Forum convention is to use "hella" to precede any description of Darren Lehmann. The word is best used to modify such adjectives as 'grouse', 'stoopid' or 'fat'. The word probably began as a Zim (ex ABC forumer VoR) typo.
HFRS (n) Hairy (or Hella) Fat Racist Slug: see 'Boof'. Attributed to regular forumer VoR (Invader Zim), a vehement Lehmann 'fan'.
Honky (n) see 'Hunky', and 'Nemo'.
HTB (n) Acronym for Home Track Bully. Used by some posters in reference to certain Sri Lankan and Indian batsmen.
Hug (v) A favourite action of poster vilkrang towards other posters.
Hunky (n) Brett Dorey (Aus). See 'Nemo'.
HWATSSOO (abbrev.) He Whose Arse The Sun Shines Out Of. Devised by regular forum contributor Fred Nerk.


"I hate you guys" Kneejerk response by Wozzie Crabs (qv) when cornered.
IIRC (abbrev.) "If I Recall Correctly". Not devised by the forum, but in wide use in it.
IMHO In My Humble Opinion. Usually precedes a statement which the 'speaker' would defend to the death.
Irony An excuse employed by posters who have been proven wrong (qv).
Instant Karma Indian player Ishant Sharma. Possibly the most quickly-adopted forum nickname of a player ever.
IYLHSMWDYMH (acronym) If you love him so much, why don’t you marry him?


JAMITT (abbrev.) Just Another Meaningless International Twenty Twenty. Also Just Another Meaningless Indian Twenty Twenty, following the plethora of matches played in competitions including the Indian Premier League.
JAMODI (abbrev.) Just Another Meaningless One Day International (see also YAMODI)
Jarpie (n) A South African. Originally used by Afrikaaners as a name they called each other as opposed to non-Afrikaans Saffies (qv). The common Afrikaans Christian name, "Jacobus" contracts to Jaapie or Jarpie, so it's a bit like all Australians calling each other Bruce or Sheila.
Juan Carlos (n) Refer 'King of Spain' (qv)
Jellybacks (n) South Australian Cricket team. Derived from the SA team nickname 'Redbacks'. Devised by regular contributor "horace".
Jimmikins (n) James Anderson. Picked to play for England at a very young age. Oddly, never tagged with the sobriquet FEC. See 'Anderson Cycle'.
JL (n) Justin Langer.
Julio (n) A nickname used among the slobs of the Australian cricket team to refer to the ‘pretty boys’
Jumble (n) a) David Sales, journeyman Northamptonshire trier. b) Anil Kumble, during his playing days at Northants, changed to 'Jamble' so as to avoid confusion with Sales, until Kumble left Northants, at which point apathy set in and other nicknames were used.
Jumbo (n) a) David Sales, salad-phobic and circumferentially challenged journeyman Northamptonshire trier or (b) Anil Kumble, Indian captain and diplomat (see also 'Violet', 'Apple')


Karticle (n) a very long forum post which is both incredibly earnest yet simultaneously densely incoherent and illogical. A true karticle rates Indian performances exceptionally highly even at those rare moments of total humiliation.
Kennys (n) Kenyan Cricket Team (see also Manic Mondays)
King of Spain (n) Ashley Giles (Eng). As a player, Giles once admitted he would never be the 'King of Spin' as long as Shane Warne was playing. His county, Warwickshire, subsequently made a c*ck-up of some Giles memorabilia, a line of 'tribute' coffee mugs, which were supposed to declare Giles was the 'King of Spin'.
Kjnr (n) Mark Waugh. Refer 'Koala'.
Koala (n) One of the Waugh brothers. A term originally conceived by Dean Jones, who compared Mark Waugh and Steve Waugh to koalas (protected species). Further derived in the forum by contributor 'horace' to Koala Senior (Ksnr) for Steve, and Koala Junior (Kjnr) for Mark.
Koertzened (v) To walk off the field after being given "Not Out". Named after South African umpire Rudi Koertzen. It came about in the First Semi Final of the 2003 World Cup. Australian opening batsman Adam Gilchrist walked off after an inside edge from a sweep shot hit his pad and ballooned to the fielder. The Umpire shook his head but Gilchrist still walked.
Krusty (n) Andrew Symonds (for his resemblance to the cartoon character)
Ksnr (n) Steve Waugh. Refer 'Koala, SRIHD'.
Kylie (n) Vikram Solanki.



L>T (abbr) Lara is greater than Tendulkar. See also the more ironic T>L.
Lack (n, slur): Shaun Tait. 'Lack Tait'. An unkind slur on his bowling ... like mother's milk, from a tit. See also Codger, Spud.
LB (n, slur): Sourav Ganguly. A two word slur referring to a disregard for the truth and doubting his ancestry.
Lemmiwinks (n) Michael Slater. Bad taste warning regarding the rest of this definition … there are several South Park fans on this forum. Lemmiwinks was a gerbil that took a journey through the bowels of Mr Garrison's partner.
Lewis FFS (n) Jon, Mick, Tony, or Rawl (most commonly Jon). All players who have strutted the international stage representing entities larger than the Isle of Lewis, which they might have struggled to be chosen for.
Little Boof (n) Mark Cosgrove
Little Brazen (n) David Hussey (Victoria) Younger brother of Michael Hussey. See also 'Brazen'
Li'l Viv (n) Andrew Symonds. Derived from a resemblance to a smaller version of West Indian Great Viv Richards. The reasons for this resemblance are legend.

[Dello]

M’dear (n) Shane Watson (see also Elementary). Derived by tailender. See also Schoolgirl and TAYne POCson.
Mabo (n) Jimmy Maher (Aus)
MacDill (n) Stuart MacGill. At around 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288 per delivery, his economy rate was a fraction irrational, and the comparison of his bowling to pies often made.
McFeast (n) Stuart MacGill.
MacKnob (n) Stuart MacGill.
Maggie (n) Paul Collingwood, MBE (see also FEC). Derived by tailender, who insists she is not a Magpie fan.
Magoo (n) Stuart MacGill. Devised by regular contributor 'Ordinary Person'.
Makybe (n) Michael di Venuto. Traditionally nicknamed 'Diva'.
Mandarin (n) Australian Umpire Simon Taufel. A complex one. Partly because of his dimples, partly because he is wise and inscrutable, partly because he is sweet and a-peeling.
Manic Mondays (n, plural) Bangladesh. Often abbreviated to 'The Bangles' also the name of an 80s girl-group. Therefore the usage of the name of their biggest hit was forum-logical.
Matt the Bat (n) Matt Hayden (see also Unit, MtB, MTB, MtFTB).
Matt Track Bully (n) Matt Hayden. See MTB (qv)
MBE (acronym) Members of the Order of the British Empire. Awards given to all twelve English players who won the 2005 Ashes, no matter how little they contributed to the overall cause. Often referred to ironically as said MBEs get rolled by Bangladesh and the Bermudan Women's XI.
Meh Commonly used term to express indifference or apathy.
MEW (n) Australian Player Mark Waugh. See also 'koalas' and 'Mr Grace'.
Michelle (n, v) From US Actress Michelle Pfeiffer. Five wickets, as in 5-for. Example of usage (pertaining to Shane Warne): 'Yes, but did he ever take a Michelle in any form of the game?'
Middlescum (n) Middlesex. As if you didn't know.
Midge (n) Nickname of Australian player Mitchell Johnson and a hopeful nod that he may someday morph into a decent replacement for the great Pidge (Glen McGrath).
Milf (n) Ben Hilfenhaus.
Mo (n) Andrew Symonds. Se also li’l Viv, Roy, Token.
Mod (n, adj, v) (a) Moderator; also (b) accepted alternative to foul language. This use originated at around the same time as the expression 'Gilly' for World Cup. Forum contributor Zat suggested the use of the word 'mod' as an inoffensive substitution for words that would otherwise result in a contributor being suspended (or moderated).
Monsta see Monster
Monster (n) Monty Panesar (Eng)
MooMoo (n) Pura Cup. Formerly the Australian Domestic 4-day cricket competition, more recently reverting to its former name, the Sheffield Shield. By way of further explanation, Pura is a brand of milk. Not to be confused with 'MuMu'.
MtB (n, abbrev) Matt the Bat. Matt Hayden
MTB (n, derived from FTB). Matt Hayden, for his alleged domination of only weaker attacks.
MtFTB (n, derived from MTB and FTB). Matt Hayden, again for his alleged domination of only weaker attacks.
Mudge (n). International SI unit of sooking (qv).
Mummy's Boy (n) Shane Warne. Following his reported positive drug test defence 'My mother gave me the tablet'.
MuMu (n) Muttiah Muralitharan.
MYTYT (n, rare) Pronounced 'Mighty Whitey'. Cameron White, on those occasions when he performs like an up-and-coming superstar of Australian cricket. Used far more often by Victorians than people from other states. See also the far more common SHYTYT (qv).


Nemo (n) Brett Dorey. A fish reference: Dorey - Dory - (Disney animated fish character) Nemo
NFI a) no f**king idea; b) Norfolk Ian
Nice t!ts, Red A phrase often posted in response to a pedantic or overly obvious post
Nikki (n) David Hussey (see also TLS)
NLPL (n, abbrev, obscure) Nuggety Little Pommy Legend. Andrew Strauss. Strauss earnt this nickname despite being of South African rather than English extraction and not as nuggety (or little) as his former Middlesex team-mate and mentor, also Australian opposite number, Justin Langer. Refer NLWL (qv).
NLWL (n, abbrev) Nuggety Little Wozzie Legend. Justin Langer. Also refer BNG (qv).
Noddy (n) Umpire. Stemming from a discussion about players with big ears, Adam Gilchrist (Aus) and Andy Caddick (Eng). Umpire Billy Bowden (NZ) was suggested as resembling Noddy from the Enid Blyton books.
NSP (c.n) National Selection Panel. Usually preceded by derogatory adjectives.
NSR (1) Non-Sarcasm Recognition. Supposed failure to recognise irony in a previous post. Production of the NSR card allows any forumer triumphantly to claim a point against a 'dumb' response thought to miss the countersunk sardonic intent of a previous post. This can lead to further counter claims of NSR in an argument that inevitably spirals downwards. (2) 'NSR' also often stands for 'no sex recently', an excuse used by some forumers for curt responses.
NTPFXA Acronym for Never To Play For (insert country of choice) Again. Generally used in reference to a player after repeat abysmal performances and preceded with "He should have his file marked..."


Obnoxious Little Weed (n) Harbhajan Singh, as once referred to by Matthew Hayden. Still used occasionally, mostly by Australian forumers when discussion about the subject gets a little heated.
ODD (abbrev.) One Day Domestic. A form of the game.
ODI (abbrev.) One Day International. A form of the game played a lot at international level. Refer JAMODI (qv)
Old King Cole (n) Stuart Law. Derived from S.Law, to Slaw, ColeSlaw, and so on. Devised by regular contributor 'Ordinary Person'.
Old Mr Grace (n) Steve Waugh. See Grace, Mr.
Ollie (n) Nickname of Australian player Marcus North – derived from Oliver North.
OLW (abbr) see Obnoxious LIttle Weed.
OMG (abbr.) Old Mr Grace (qv) Also Oh My God!
OTCOG (On the cusp of greatness) usually of Paul Collingwood or Ian Bell. See also FEC.


Paris (n) Michael Hussey (see also Nikki, Brazen)
Pats Nath on Head Expression used when forum young gun 'Nath' says something of particular merit. Or when someone feels like being nice to him. Has fallen into infrequent use due to Nath getting older. Occasionally used for other forumers as an expression of gratitude for some good forum work.
Peter Pan (n) The famous fictional boy who never grew up. Also used derisively re any players who overindulge in dummy-spits or otherwise childish behaviour.
Pfeiffer (n, v) From US Actress Michelle Pfeiffer. Five wickets, as in 5-for. See 'Michelle'.
Phews (n) Nickname for Phil Hughes (PHughes) see also Con.
Phillips, Wayne "Frigging" (n) Wayne Phillips (Victoria, 1 test for Australia). Devised by regular contributor 'Fred Nerk'.
Phillips, Wayne "Bloody" (n) Wayne Phillips (South Australia, 27 tests for Australia). Devised by regular contributor 'Fred Nerk'.
Phurt! Standard forum response to something not approved of by respondent. Particularly used by Wozzies and Dubbers (both terms qv) in response to criticism of their states.
PHS (n) Pea Hearted Sook. Frequently homesick and minor injury prone English fast bowler Steve Harmison. Has all the physical attributes of a good fast bowler but the guts/heart of a timid 13 year old girl at a new school. Attributed to the perceptive if occasionally acerbic regular forumer VoR (invader Zim).
Pinger, The (n) Muttiah Muralitharan (see Chuck) see also CBER
Plain (n) Grant Flower (attributed to OP). See also 'self-raising'.
Podge (n) Brad Hodge. See TAYPOC, TAYPODGE, FRV, Fat Retarded Vomit.
Pombasher (n) Luke Pomersbach (WA and Australia)
Problem (n) A question regularly asked by poster DJ_Smerk when sledged by other posters. Also used in similar circumstances - "FFFFFFFUUUUUUUU", "Haters gonna hate" and "Umad?"
Pumpkinhead (n) David Hookes.


Qbanjo (n) Like a Qbilly, but not as bright.
Qbillies (n) The Queensland Cricket team, and Queenslanders in general. Devised by regular contributor 'horace'.
Qunt (n) A poster who disagrees with Danny. Qunts are notable for quntishness, which can be measured in chappellis (qv) aka IMC units.

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Rags (n) 1. (Aus) Tom Moody, 2 (Eng) Derek Randall. 3. A derogatory term associated with moody forummers. Usually used in sentence “Have you got your ....?” or “Are you on your ....?”
Rain Man (n) Shane Warne. Refers to his genius on the cricket pitch, but his seeming lack of intelligence or common sense in most other areas.
Ratface (n) Ian Bell. See also 'Tinker', 'Terror', 'FEC' and ‘Belf’.
Re-dinking (v) Batting with the tail in such a way as to remain 'not out'. qv SRIHD. Derived by former ABC forum luminary, Ordinary Person, from 'red-inking', a very similar behaviour.
Reverse woof See woof (qv)
Rhino (n) Nickname of Australian player Ryan Harris.
Roy (n) Andrew Symonds. See also 'Mo', 'Token', Li'l Viv, 'Krusty'.
Ruggy (n) Nickname of Doug Bollinger. See also Bubbles and Doug the Rug.


SACK... COOK... NOW! Forum member doctorspin's oft repeated retort whenever England opener Alastair Cook made a low score.
Saffies (n) South Africans.
Sarfraz (n) Stuart Clark (see also subi, Gump)
SBBOCT (abbr) Skully's big book of cricket trivia. Of little use since RD (current poster G.Wood) borrowed it and returned it with many of the pages apparently stuck together. It's very spivvy, and not at all 'festive' (qv). Post 2002 data are a bit dodgy, following a spell where RD was confined to forum gaol by the ABC moderators, and only had the book for company. Some pages are now smudged or illegible. In recent times posters WideWally and Bradman have borrowed the tome from the Forum library.
Schoolgirl (n) Derogatory nickname given to Shane Watson in the wake of a juvenile display of hand flapping after dismissing Chris Gayle in the Perth Test of Dec 09. See also M'dear and TAYne POCson.
Self-raising (n) Andy Flower (attributed to OP). See also 'Plain'
Semen Jawful (n) Australian Umpire Simon Taufel. Derived from an exchange between ex-ABC forumer and Taufel fan 'Eyes_Only', and Ordinary Person (OP).
Sewer (n) Nickname of Australian player Peter Siddle. Derived from Sewer-siddle (Suicidal). See also Cot.
SGDT Stupid Gay Dubber Twit. A NSW poster allegedly of dubious intelligence and/or manliness. See any exchange between embee and skully for context.
SGWT Stupid Gay Wozzie Twit. A WA poster allegedly of dubious intelligence and/or manliness. See any exchange between skully and embee for context
Shrek (n) Darren Lehmann. Derived from his resemblance to the animated movie character of that name.
Shrek of Tweak, The (n) Darren Lehmann. Combination of 'Sheikh of Tweak' and 'Shrek' (qv) generally used when he has a fine spin bowling performance.
SHYTYT (pronounced '*sh!t* Whitey') (n) Cameron White, on the occasions when he fails to perform like an up-and-coming superstar of Australian cricket. Used far more often by non-Victorians than Victorians. In common use. See also MYTYT (qv)
Sitheffs (n, pl.) South Africans. A play on the accent. Sitheffs = Sitheffricans = South Africans.
SiBo (n) Ryan Sidebottom (Eng)
Sidearse (n) Ryan Sidebottom (Eng)
SiJo (n) Simon Jones (Eng)
SIUUBG or SIUYBG (abbrev) Suck it Up You Big Girl (qv)
Skunk also Skunkhead (n) England player Kevin Pietersen. When he first appeared on the international scene, his black hair had a large, bleached white streak. An alternate theory is that his white hair was dyed black at the sides.
Slaw (n) Stuart Law, derived from S. Law. See also Old King Cole.
Slurrey (n) Surrey.
Sniffy (n) Phil Jaques (Aus). See also 'Hattie'.
Snoozers or occasionally sNooZers the New Zealand team. Often capable of turning a potentially exciting cricket match into the sporting equivalent of watching cement set.
SODIT (abbrev) Superfluous One Day International Tournament. A collective noun for JAMODIs (qv). Most often applied to the Champions Trophy, but can apply to any ODI tournament other than the Gilly (qv).
Sook (n or v) One who complains when informed that they are wrong (qv); the act of loudly so complaining, especially persistently. In theory sooking may be measured on a sook-o-meter (qv) in standardised metric units, known as mudges. A typical 2 year old screaming supermarket tantrum registers about 5 centimudges. Many forum tantrums have exceeded 90 centimudges.
Sooky La La Boy (n) South African player Graeme Smith. Several weeks after his first tests he complained about Australian players sledging him, despite saying nothing at the time.
Sook-o-meter also Sookometer (n) quasi-mythical instrument capable of measuring any and all forum sooks.
Sozzie (n, abbrev.) South Australian. See also 'jellyback'
Spanky (n) Columnist, commentator, and former county cricketer, Peter Roebuck.
Spit (n) Stephen Fleming (NZ)
Spiv Central (n) Sydney. Refer 'Spivs'. Devised by regular contributor 'Mick Sawyer'.
Spivs (n, pl.) New South Wales cricket team and/or the players therein. Devised by regular contributor 'Mick Sawyer'.
Spud (n) Shaun Tait. Spud = Potato, which by degrees becomes tater, then Tait, and back to spud. Quite likely to go well when set against Bangers (qv), but never likely to be a quality item alone. See also Codger (qv) and Lack (qv).
Squnts (n, plural) Australians. They squint, and they're qunts. (Danny, 2008)
SRIHBD (n) Selfish Red Ink Hunting Bloody Dubber. Batsman from New South Wales who tries to remain not out. Often used in a derogatory sense about Steve Waugh.
SRT (n) Indian Player Sachin Tendulkar.
SRW (n) Australian Player Steve Waugh.
Steelspine (n) Sarfraz Nawaz (the original, not Stuart Clark)
Stichaminda (n) Vaas. [python] "First, get some flowers. Pretty tulips, dahlias, chrysanthemums. Then, stickaminda Vaas"[/python]
Subi (n) (1) Person, esp. a silly person, from (or assumed to be from) the subcontinent.
2) Australian player Stuart Clark, who has Indian ancestry (but is not silly).
3) (Wozzie abbrev). Subiaco. Perth suburb, containing a major sporting ground.
Suck It Up You Big Girl (catchphrase) Stop complaining, accept things as they are.
Sussex (n) 1. An English county team, with a few English-born players.
(n) 2. Honorary surname bestowed upon the increasing number of players elevated to English national duty following the promotion of former Sussex coach Peter Moores to the English coaching job. Such players include Matt Sussex (Prior), Luke Sussex (Wright), Tim Sussex (Ambrose), James Sussex (Kirtley) and England A captain Michael Sussex (Yardy).
Symbals (n) Derogatory nickname given to English wicketkeeper Matt Prior.


T>L (abbr) 'Tendulkar is greater than Lara'. The Indian side of an ongoing forum argument (see the more usual L>T). If you've already looked at L>T and noticed a circular style of referencing these points, you'll know how non-participants feel about this debate. Many karticles have been written on the T>L premise. The argument is expected to continue for another twenty years.
Tangoman (n) Darren Gough. Because of the similarity between his orange hair and the fruit drink 'Tang'. His win on a UK television dance show adds further credence to the nickname.
Tawny Grig (n) Tony Greig. Former South African-born England captain, turned cricket and mail-order wedding commentator. Devised by regular contributor 'Ordinary Person'.
TAYne POCson (n) Derogatory nickname for allegedly injury-prone bits-and-pieces Australian player Shane Watson. Believed by some posters to be "TAYPOC", and not a "Test quality opening batsman" or "Test quality bowler". See also M'dear and Schoolgirl.
TAYPOC "Talk about your piece of crap." OR "Talk about your pieces of crap." Originally inspired by Nelson (Ha Haaa!) of the Simpsons, used to describe individuals or teams of limited ability.
TAYPODGE (n) Brad Hodge (see also Podge, Fat Retarded Vomit, FRV).
Terror Ian Bell. See also Tinker, FEC, Belf and Ratface.
TGM also tgm (abbr. of "The Great Man") 'The great man' is an expression often used by the hyperbole-prone Bill Lawry of the Nine Network commentary team. Given the number of times it was used to describe Lawry's fellow Victorian Shane Warne, the abbreviation entered wide forum use. For further emphasis of Warne's ability, capitalisation was favoured. A problem arose as Glenn McGrath overtook many others on the wicket taking list and was increasingly referred to as 'the great man'. To avoid confusion, and because the word 'God' had already been applied to DK Lillee, the convention of Warne being 'TGM' and McGrath being 'tgm' evolved as a matter of convenience.
TGW see Warthog, The Great
Thread Necromancy (n) The practice of raising long dead threads from around page 90 (because that’s the page that gets its own little box in the list of forum pages in the bottom right hand corner of the Main Forum page). A favourite pastime of poster lardbucket, and a great annoyance to poster vilkrang.
Thunderqunt (n) Widely in use to describe anyone of a high level of quntishness
Tiffined (v) To be on the receiving end of a bad decision. Derived from umpire Russell Tiffin, who made several ordinary decisions in Australia in the summer of 2002/2003. A favourite expression of contributor 'Big Dog'.
Tinker (n) Ian Bell (Eng) Original authorship claimed by 'tailender'.
TLS: The Little Slut – David Hussey. See also Little Brazen, Nikki.
TNB (1. Aus) The Next Bradman. Label placed upon any young Australian batsman who scores a couple of centuries for NSW early in his career. Said player usually goes on to reveal he is of fair-to-middling ability, although occasionally players tagged TNB go on to be utter gash.
TNB (2. Eng) The New Botham. Label placed upon every player selected for England as an all-rounder since Botham's remarkable performance at Headingley in 1981. So far, the tag has proved about as accurate as TNB in the Australian context. By way of further reading, career profiles of Derek Pringle, David Capel and Phil de Freitas are recommended. The jury is still out on Andrew Flintoff in this regard.
TNS The New ShyT. NSW and occasional Australian player, leg-spinning all rounder Steve Smith.
Token (n) Andrew Symonds. Derived from the animated TV Series 'South Park'. Ironic. See also Li'l Viv, Mo, Roy, Krusty.
Tonkaville refer 'Earl of Tonkaville'
topbottom 1. (adj) Hella (qv) weak. Originallly suggested as a 'good' nickname for Ryan Sidebottom, but cruelly derided as such, this term has after a great initial round of apathy, entered more common (although still not widespread) usage as defined above. 'Lame', 'weak' and 'insipid' are really not weak enough words to convey the limpness implied by 'topbottom'. 2. (n, vb) Attempt, successful or frustrated, to have the last word on all threads of the first page of the Forum, and thus "own" the page with one's name. Much derided by thwarted would-be topbottomers as pathetic no-life time-wasting.
Tozzie (n) A Tasmanian (see also Two Head)
TQ see thunderqunt
Trembles (n) Chris Tremlett, English bowler and physiotherapist's delight. A contemporary of Wobbles (qv)
Trev (n) Poster Henry – formerly Trevor Mudge
Turbanator (n) Indian Player Harbajan Singh. Dangerous spin bowler, has claimed a hat-trick against Australia. See also 'obnoxious little weed'.
Turbanator II (n) Monty Panesar (Eng)
Two-Head (n) A Tasmanian (see also Tozzie)

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Ucker (n) Jamie Cox, former Somerset and Tasmanian player, Australian selector and cricket commentator. Derived by forum regular 'embee'.
Ugly (adj) A term often used in conjunction with the exploits of Australian player James Hopes and English player Saj Mahmood.
Uncon (n) Lou Vincent (NZ)
Unit (n) Matt Hayden (see also 'Haydos')


Vile Vixen (n) Victorian cricket team, Victorians in general (excluding Shane Keith Warne). See also 'Bitter Vomits', 'Vile Vomits'.
Vile Vomits (n, plural) Victorian cricket team, Victorians in general.
Violet (n) Indian player and latter-day captain, Anil Kumble, a play on the name of the Australian 'Violet Crumble' chocolate bar.
Virgil Michael Vaughan, whose physical resemblance to the rather expressionless pilot of Thunderbird 2 is uncanny. See also 'Goebbels', 'Captain Positive', 'Yawn'.
Vixen (n) Victorian Cricket team, also Victorians in general. Devised by regular contributor 'horace'.


Warthog, The Great (n) Head of Nine TV network, Kerry Packer.
Wino, The (n) Stuart MacGill. Derived from his love of wine, as a connoisseur, not as an alcoholic.
Weetbix (n) Brett Lee. Derived from his sponsorship from the Sanitarium company, and possibly as a contrast to 'Bix' for Andy Bichel.
Wheelie Bin (n) Ashley Giles (Eng) Initially used by BBC commentator Henry Blofeld, allegedly due to his trundling approach to the crease when bowling.
Wobbles (n) Paul Collingwood. An England player tagged with FEC (qv) early in his career who did actually make it to the top job. Has been thought (especially by Australian forumers) to underachieve in pressure situations, in much the same way as his namesake Australian Football League team. AFL Collingwood's legendary losses in many Grand Finals has given rise to the term Colliwobbles in Australian sporting terms. See also Maggie (qv).
Woof (vb) To say something good about your player or team, only to have something very bad happen moments later. For example an Australian fan might say 'Ponting's in good form, I wouldn't be surprised if he scored a big ton today' as he walks to the crease. This statement could be called a 'woof' if Ponting then gets out cheaply, a big woof if Ponting gets a duck, and a spectacular piece of woofing if Ponting is out first ball. Sometimes in an effort to 'make' good things happen for their team, a supporter may try a 'reverse woof' aka 'foow' (qv), eg they may say 'my team is DOOOOOOMED' in the hope of the team going on to be very successful; alternatively a 'reverse woofer' may wax lyrical about the opposition in the hope that misfortune will befall them. During an Ashes series, for example, an English fan might have said 'Gee, McGrath's going to carve us up in this match, he looked great in the warm-up' only for McGrath to step on a ball and stuff his ankle, and then miss the match completely. Some people regard reverse woofing as hella (qv) poor form. There is a school of debate, or at least of pedantic gainsaying (not requiring further documentation here), about the etiquette of pointing out woofs, attempted woofs, and reverse woofs; before, during and after the fact. If anyone wishes the glossary compilers to explain these complexities, they may undertake the job upon receipt of the supercomputers required to explain the differences clearly, the several large buildings required to store the data, and a stipend sufficiently large to keep them and their families comfortable during the years the task would take to complete ... or more likely tell you to do what everyone normally tells Horrie to do (refer forum intro).
Wozzie (n, abbrev.) West Australian.
Wozzie Crab (n) Phrase to describe any cricketer born and bred in WA. Generally used to stir West Australian forum members, especially VoR.
Wrong (n, adj.) Anyone who doesn't agree with your opinion. A particular forum usage.
WTAAS (acronym) 'Well, that's almost a sentence'. A possible response to almost any horrie post; this damns with very faint praise the grammar or spelling (or sometimes both) of the post it quotes. Originally derived from a Simpsons episode, an image of an old example of its use can be found at http://i41.servimg.com/u/f41/11/81/02/32/wtaas10.jpg
WTF (abbrev.) A method of asking "What The F**k?" (or similar) that seems to have been deemed acceptable by the forum moderators. Not devised by the forum, but in wide use in it.
WUM (abbrev.) Wind Up Merchant. A forumer who specialises in posts designed in getting a rise from other users.


YAMODI Yet Another Meaningless One Day International.
Yarpie (n) A South African. Originally used by Afrikaaners as a name they called each other, as opposed to non-Afrikaans Saffies (qv). The common Afrikaans Christian name "Jakobus" contracts to Jaapie, Jarpie (pronounced Yarpie) so it’s a bit like all Australians calling each other Bruce, or Sheila.
Yarpom (n) A South African-born England player (see Yarpie, Pom). This species has been in existence for some decades but has been spotted with increasing frequency in recent years, particularly in T20 cricket.
Yawn (n) Michael Vaughan (Eng) Gains particular relevance when used in relation to his always upbeat interviews following ordinary performances (see Captain Positive).
Young Mr Grace (n) Mark Waugh. See Grace, Mr; and MEW.


Zimbots (n) The Robert Mugabe All-Stars.