Awesome Bombay (Mumbai)

[mirchy]

THINGS TO PROVE YOU'RE A BOMBAYITE

1. You say 'town ' and expect everyone to know that this means south of Churchgate.

2 You speak in a dialect of Hindi called 'Bambaiya Hindi',
which only Bombayites can understand.

3. Your door has more than three locks.

4. Rs 500 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.

5. Train timings (9.27, 10.49 etc) are really important events of life.

6. You spend more time each month traveling than you spend at home.

7. You call an 8' x 10' clustered room a Hall.

8. You're paying Rs 10,000 for a 1 room flat, the size
of a walk-in closet and you think it's a 'steal.'

9. You have the following sets of friend: school friends, college friends, neighborhood friends, office friends and yes, train friends, a species unique only in Bombay. (REALLY TRUE)

10. Cabbies and bus conductors think you are from Mars if you call the roads by their Indian name, which are hardly known let alone remembered.
They are more familiar with Warden Road, Peddar Road, Altamount Road

11. Stock market quotes are the only other thing besides cricket which you follow passionately.

12. The first thing that you read in the Times of India is the
' Bombay Times' supplement.

13. You take fashion seriously and are suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.

14. Hookers, beggars and the homeless are invisible.

15. You compare Bombay to New York's Manhattan instead of any other cities of India.

16. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.

17. Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport makes your hairs stand on end. It’s still Santa Cruz Airport to you. The same goes for Victoria Terminus.

18. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.

19. Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.

20. Being truly alone makes you nervous.

21. You love wading through knee deep mucky water in the monsoons, and actually call it ''romantic'.

22. Only in Bombay would you get Chinese Dosa and Jain Chicken

Salaam Bombay...

[Invader Zim]

21. You share a toilet with a million others.

[mirchy]

This is a persiflage, not a shitfest

[Invader Zim]

My bad.

[The One]

nice old forward. to break it down a bit more

You know you are NOT from South Bombay when

You know the timings of all/any local trains

You called the erstwhile Insomnia “Insi’s”

You dress up to go to the Ghetto, and call it “Ghetto’s”

You wear your best attire & make-up to go to a cinema/ multiplex

Your friends look at your new denims and say “Man.. what sexy jins!”

You refer to anything nice as “sexy”

You wear “gogs” and not sunglasses

You start getting ready at 2.00 pm on Saturday afternoon to go out on Saturday night… and still look hideous

You use profanities to sound cool

Your best friend is Jeegness/ Heetul/ Heeten/ etc and he wears “Sexy Jins”

You dress up when you go out to get Ice-cream

You discuss car loan schemes with your friends who just bought a motorbike when you’re contemplating buying a Santro. You also discuss Petrol vs. Diesel in the conversation

Your passport has 31 out of 32 blank pages (that’s if you own one!)

Your bags, when traveling out of the country, have a huge sticker with your name, address, father’s name, mother’s name, family history, person visiting, etc. in the event it gets lost

You have been to London/ New York once in your life to visit a relative who migrated there 3 decades ago and when you return you become the celebrity in your area and are referred to as “London/New York return”

You wear your “gogs” on top of your head even after 8.00pm to show people you actually own a pair

You wear T-shirts with loud slogans like “I am sexy” or “I am God’s gift to women”

You look for 2-for-1 deals at Macy’s in the US

You plan to go to “Indigo’s” one month in advance

You give people missed calls from your mobile (if you own one!)

You SMS instead of calling since you are on a pre-paid scheme

You plan your New Year’s eve in February

You look up to South Mumbai people like they are celebrities!

[mirchy]

And this is Bombay too
_____________________________________

Where telephone bills make a person ill,
Where a person cannot sleep without a pill.

Where carbon-dioxide is more than oxygen,
Where the road is considered to be a dustbin,

Where college canteens are full and classes empty,
Where Adam teasing is also making an entry,

Where a cycle reaches faster than a car,
Where everyone thinks himself to be a star,

Where sky scrapers overlook the slum,
Where houses collapse as the monsoon comes,

Where people first act and then think,
Where there is more water in the pen than ink,

Where the roads see-saw in monsoon,
Where the beggars become rich soon,

Where the roads are leveled when the minister arrives,

Where college admission means hard cash,
Where cement is frequently mixed with ash.

This is Bombay, but don't fear, just cheer, come to Mumbai every year!

[mirchy]

Bombay has no bombs and is a harbour not a bay.
Churchgate has neither a church nor a gate. It is a railway station.
No king ever stayed at Kings Circle ..
Nor did Queen Victoria stay at Victoria Terminus..
Nor is there any princess at Princess Street ..
Lower Parel is at the same level as Parel
There are no marines or sailors at Marine Lines.
Breach Candy is not a sweetmeat market, but there is a Hospital.
Hanging Gardens are not suspended.
Mirchi Gully does not sell chillies.
But it is true that you may get fleeced at Chor Bazaar!

AMCHI MUMBAI
A City where everything is possible, especially the impossible .

[Merlin]

Like just about any other city across the world ... if you so want it!

[mirchy]

For those that don't understand the cricketmania in Bombay.

[Merlin]

Classic!


Now THAT's enthusiasm .... like the Brazillian kids on Copacabanna beach kicking a multi-string lashed excuse for a football !

[Shoeshine]

That's brilliant. Well done them.

Don't tend to see that on Copacabana any more Merls. It's all people who want to be seen rather than just the normal people. I did actually form part of a team that took on the Brazilians at football on Ipanema beach next door some years back. The Brazilians aren't really used to playing a game as such - they prefer to mess about showing off their skills, but they were well up for it against a bunch of English.

First five minutes consisted of them running rings round us, before one of my mates got sufficiently fed up to go piling in with a full blooded tackle. Game on from that point.

(Still got stuffed mind)

[The One]

nice pic

i think this is the quintessential bombay cicket pic, hundreds of games going on at the same time across bombay's many maidans (most within a few feet of each other)

[mirchy]

If that's the Bombay University in the background, it must be the "Oval". Never seen it so full, even on a Sunday.

[The One]

that is oval. when the pitches are not booked by the clubs then it gets filled up pretty quickly by the casual cricketers

[taipan]

THe worst thread of all time?