English soccer jokes

vilkrang wrote:

This.

vilkrang wrote:

And the other 22 of them. (Well, perhaps we can excuse the four who never got on the pitch...)

Here are a few more average offerings:

1. Apparently, after Wayne Bridge refused to play for England while John Terry remained captain, patriotic fans started urging JT to try it on with the Emile Heskey's wife.

(.... and the wives of Glenn Johnson, Gareth Barry, etc etc ...).

2. John Terry finally explained he didn't mean to have sex with Vanessa Perroncel - he just slipped while he was showing her how to take a penalty.

3. Before their trip home, the England sqaud visited an orphanage in Cape Town. “It’s heartbreaking to see their sad little faces without any trace of hope,” said Jamal, aged six.

4. Apparently the irate fan had no trouble at all slipping into the England dressing room to give them a dose of the verbals – Robert Green was guarding the door.

5. After the England v Algeria game, a number of the players were almost speechless with remorse and shame. "I can’t believe we only managed a goalless draw against a crap team we should have thrashed", said Rafik Halliche.

"Man in Utah in Death Row has been allowed to choose his firing squad. He has chosen Rooney, Lampard and Hesky. "

Difference between the vuvuzela and English football fans.

One is an incessant, whining drone. The other is a plastic trumpet.