You know what really grinds my gears?

Geez, they must be a barsteward to apply the wart acid on?

Brass Monkey wrote:Don't judge us all by their limp-wristed standards. You won't meet two more 'English' people than Dello and Lever. Sort of a caricature of your 'yeah, we're sensitive... yeah we're damned nice thanks for asking! We like things like scones and we pronounce them 'sconns'. We buy a 'slap and tickle' pack and think we're naughty. We mention the weather in every third sentence, like it's spectacular. We eat weird cuts of meat.' type of Englishmen. They have a day off for a paper cut. They're systematically ruining society with their 'can't do' attitude.

Ha - I don't even like scones. They give me indigestion.

So, you're bang wrong. It's people like you, with their unabashed wrongness, that have sent this country spinning down the tubes.

And the blacks.

I really could go for a scone right now...a scone with pig's trotters.

Round here we has real folk what are definitely more reflective of English society. We cut our bread with swords and hang around on street corners asking people if they want a fight. We scrape ourselves a living selling corn grown in our back gardens and by capturing small children to sell into slavery to the east Asian market. Sometimes we can be seen going out late at night into farmer's fields, forming elaborate designs just for a laugh. And when we go down to the pub, we have eight pints then drive home without ever feeling any adverse effects whatsoever apart from lamppostthroughtheheaditis and deadpeoplecollectedonthewindscreenivitis. When we're ill we don't take medication and can generally be seen fit as a fiddle 364 days out of the year - the remaining one is somebody's birthday (never your own 'cause that would be insincere) where you're completely shit-arsed by 9am (at the latest).

But do you eat scones?

Dello, I think you've missed the point.


Chivalry is a crumpet man.

Yes, and we also practice proper pronunciation of the word scone (hint: it rhymes with cone, hone, bone, tone, moan, phone, alone, sloan, Joan, cologne, blown, sewn, stone, throne, thrown, known).

Chivalry Augustus wrote:Round here we has real folk what are definitely more reflective of English society. We cut our bread with swords and hang around on street corners asking people if they want a fight. We scrape ourselves a living selling corn grown in our back gardens and by capturing small children to sell into slavery to the east Asian market. Sometimes we can be seen going out late at night into farmer's fields, forming elaborate designs just for a laugh. And when we go down to the pub, we have eight pints then drive home without ever feeling any adverse effects whatsoever apart from lamppostthroughtheheaditis and deadpeoplecollectedonthewindscreenivitis. When we're ill we don't take medication and can generally be seen fit as a fiddle 364 days out of the year - the remaining one is somebody's birthday (never your own 'cause that would be insincere) where you're completely shit-arsed by 9am (at the latest).

[Horrie] So you agree with Child labour too? [/Horrie]

Chivalry Augustus wrote:Yes, and we also practice proper pronunciation of the word scone (hint: it rhymes with cone, hone, bone, tone, moan, phone, alone, sloan, Joan, cologne, blown, sewn, stone, throne, thrown, known).

Fer goodness' sakes, getcha 'pronounciation' right Chuggers.

And your scone is gone.

You're on your scone there, Footsie.

As opposed to 'off ma scone?'

Or am I all alone?

An Aussie and a Welshman walk into a forum . . .

. . . zZz.

Chivalry Augustus wrote:An Aussie and a Welshman walk into a forum . . .

. . . zZz.

An Englishman walks into a phone shop...


....zZz..

A narcoleptic walks into a...

... zZzzzz...

A Tourette's sufferer walks into a forum
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