the Axe effect ..

Unable to attract even a single girl, frustrated man sues Axe

New Delhi. In what could prove to be a major marketing and legal embarrassment for Hindustan Unilever Limited (HUL), a 26-year-old man has filed a case against the FMCG company, which owns the Axe brand of men grooming products, for ‘cheating’ and causing him ‘mental suffering’. The plaintiff has cited his failure to attract any girl at all even though he’s been using Axe products for over seven years now. Axe advertisements suggest that the products help men in instantly attracting women.

Vaibhav Bedi, the petitioner, also surrendered all his used, unused and half-used deodorant sprays, perfume sticks and roll-ons, anti-perspirants, aftershaves, body washes, shampoos, and hair gels to the court, and demanded a laboratory test of the products and narcotics test of the brand managers of Axe. Vaibhav was pushed to take this step when his bai (maid) beat him with a broom when he tried to impress her by appearing naked in front of her after applying all the Axe products.



No girl ever asked Vaibhav to call her

“Where the f**k is the Axe effect? I’ve been waiting for it for over seven years. Right from my college to now in my office, no girl ever agreed to even go out for a tea or coffee with me, even though I’m sure they could smell my perfumes, deodorants and aftershaves. I always applied them in abundance to make sure the girls get turned on as they show in the television. Finally I thought I’d try to impress my lonely bai who had an ugly fight with her husband and was living alone for over a year. Axe effect my foot!” Vaibhav expressed his unhappiness.

Vaibhav claims that he had been using all the Axe products as per the company’s instructions even since he first bought them. He argued that if he couldn’t experience the Axe effect despite using the products as directed, either the company was making false claims or selling fake products.

“I had always stored them in cool and dry place, and kept them away from direct light or heat. I’d always use a ruler before applying the spray and make sure that the distance between the nozzle and my armpit was at least 15 centimeters. I’d do everything they told. I even beat up my 5-year-old nephew for coming near my closet, as they had instructed it to keep away from children’s reach. And yet, all I get is a broom beating from my ugly bai.” Vaibhav expressed his frustration.

Vaibhav claims that he had to do go a lot of mental suffering and public humiliation due to the lack of Axe effect and wants HUL to compensate him for this agony. An advocate in Karkardooma court, who happened to mistake Vaibhav for some deodorant vendor when he entered the court premises with all the bottles, has now offered to take up his case in the court. HUL has been served a legal notice in this regard.

HUL has officially declined to comment on the case citing the subject to be sub judice, but our sources inform that the company was worried over the possible outcomes of the case. The company might argue that Vaibhav was hopelessly unattractive and unintelligent and didn’t possess the bare minimum requirements for the Axe effect to take place. Officially HUL has not issued any statement, but legal experts believe that HUL could have tough time convincing the court.

“HUL might be tempted to take that line of argument, but it is very risky. There is no data to substantiate the supposition that unattractive and unintelligent men don’t attract women. In fact some of the best looking women have been known to marry and date absolutely ghoulish guys. I’d suggest that the company settles this issue out of court.” noted lawyer Ram Jhathmalani said.

It's funny if it's bullshit and even funnier if it's true.

its fake. but still funny

I personally think all these Fair and Lovely & Axe type bullshit product makers should be taken to court for making such exagerrated and misleading ads honestly! Especially Fair & Lovely whose racist ads always highlight that an India girl cannot be career successful or get a good groom unless she is fair skinned and uses the stupid products to get fair!

Batman wrote:Especially Fair & Lovely whose racist ads always highlight that an India girl cannot be career successful or get a good groom unless she is fair skinned and uses the stupid products to get fair!

An Indian company being racist. Who'd have thunk it.

Indians just aren't racist. It's something to do with the culture.

They need to post the Lynx.

Brass Monkey wrote:Indians just aren't racist. It's something to do with the culture.

You mean the light culture and the dark culture.

Thanks for clearing that up.

The makers of Fair & Lovely are not a wholly Indian company but a company owned by a British or some European [not exactly sure which] firm set up here several years before India's independence. It's controlling stake holders are not Indian. It's main market is India and Asia largely though! However the Indians who work in their marketing and advertising aspects and as their board directors should be jailed for feeding on the insecurities of girls who are not 'fair'.

It's nothing new, the french company L'Oreal is openly racist without any inputs from India.

Fair & Lovely ads are an inverted form of racism where they try to peddle racism with a brown face (their local managers). Watch how Alyque Padamsee comes on to every show championing the cause of this cream.

It's not a British company Vikas - it's Norman.

Brass Monkey wrote:It's not a British company Vikas - it's Norman.

So it's the Frogs again.

When isn't it? F*cking jumped up little thunderqunts.

Brass Monkey wrote:When isn't it? F*cking jumped up little thunderqunts.

Modi is a Norman?