England drop Strauss

WoolWorths Have Cornflakes On Special...Thanks , Merlo

No worries - glad you worked it out, you clever little thing.

embee wrote:WoolWorths Have Cornflakes On Special...Thanks , Merlo

I thought it was "Wide Wally Harsh Call On Statham".

It has to be one of these:

Willy Wonka Hates Children On Strudel

Sweet-making genius has sensationally revealed that he dislikes putting 'Children Sauce' on his strudel, stating that his trademarked 'Wobbly Wustard' is much better.

"It tastes too meaty. I much prefer my Wobbly Wustard. It's sweeter and makes you hallucinate."

Wobbly Wustard is believed to be akin to blancmange laced with LSD.

More to follow.

Willy Wonka Hates "Churlish" Oompa-Loompa Stance

Willy Wonka, of the Chocolate Factory conglomerate has slated a sector of his employees for going on strike, demanding better wages.

"It's ridiculous. I get these little fellas in, give them fun work to do and this is how they show their gratitude! I mean, I let them sing silly songs as they work - even when visitors are present. They must think this place is a holiday camp. They're just being churlish."

It is believed that the Oompa-Loompas are tired of being paid in weird sweet-style narcotics and the currency 'Mazbogroodie'; it is yet to be allowed for use outside the factory where they all work.

A representative from the Short-Arses Union stated:

"Members of our union are unsatisfied with the dangerous work they undertake and their wage-structure and benefits."

He added:

"Workers are sick of eating different sweets they get as their wages and ending up in a puddle of drool somewhere, not knowing what has gone on. Further to this, they want to do normal things, which they cannot without being given normal money. They can't even buy a Pukka pie and go down the local for a pint."

It has yet to be ascertained how long the strike will continue.

Wonder Woman's Hairy Clam on Show


An exhibition from the female superhero of her rare bearded mollusc ...

Batfink Begins wrote:

Merlin wrote:Well TF there's no sign of Rampracash .

Depends how much of a bitter sh!t you are about someone leaving your County side. If so, certainly.

100% bitter, thanks.

Aye, on reflection - bugger it ... same here.
Thanks

Summary: One ex-Middlesex player and one current Middlesex player shafted. Sussex, Northamptonshire and Durham are now the powerhouses of English cricket.

Danny - not nearly enough crowing over Swann's elevation.

All that remains is for Vaughan to wrench his knee again, and for Strauss to waltz into the vacancy that creates.

One Middlesex player was shafted to make way for another Middlesexian.

Unless you're talking about the criminal lack of Ben Scott...

lardbucket wrote:Summary: One ex-Middlesex player and one current Middlesex player shafted.

But another one elevated! Hurrah for Ace!

Strauss, Ed Smith, Joyce, Shah, Dalrymple - England must've had a go on all the Middlesex batting line-up by now.

How come Ed Smith is no longer even 'on the radar' ... hasn't he averaged close to 50 for the last 3-4 seasons?

Very surprised they dropped strauss.

Such a class player i think he deserved at least this tour to turn it around.

He lost out by four runs.

That 96 he made against India in the first Test would've kept him in if he'd just edged one down to third man.

Silly really, but there you go.

Given his last four Tests have gone 77, 13, 96, 18, 4, 55, 6, 32, you'd have to concede that he wasn't exactly stinking out the place. He's a bit unlucky.

England v India Test series (2007) averages:

Pietersen: 57.50 (2x100s)
Vaughan: 49.17 (1x100, 1x50)
Cook: 37.17 (1x50)
Strauss: 35.17 (2x50s)
Collingwood: 32.83 (2x50s)
Bell: 31.67 (2x50s)

And somehow Ian Bell's earned himself a promotion up the order...

Strauss is class. Better than Cook in my book.


Hopefully he'll be recalled for NZ.