Re: English wit in crisis - Clarkson 4th wittiest Englishman.

by doctorspin on Mon 15 Oct 2007, 00:50

doctorspin wrote:
taipan wrote:
doctorspin wrote:
Nixon's actual words were...."I am not a criminal" so actually, it's surprising that Ol' Tricky Dicky himself isn't somewhere near the top of this current Witty Guy poll.

Close to "I did not have sex with that woman"

Yeay! Another witty classic. How does the USA manage to continue such a fine line in hilarious witty one-liner Top-Men?

On reflection, it seems that these fantastic witticisms are all in the context of denying nefarious deeds. Hmmmmmm, must indicate something, but I'm not sure what ATM.

And yeh, Churchill....what a guy! Quite brilliant in the sharp, witty retorts.

by tac on Mon 15 Oct 2007, 00:50

taipan wrote:
tac wrote:Who is surprised to find LLL reading Wilde's complete works? Looking for the dirty bits, no doubt.

No one.

Judging by the lack of comments on it

And what a little bitch you've become.

by doctorspin on Mon 15 Oct 2007, 00:51

Batfink Begins wrote:"I smoked pot... but I did not inhale".

Duckhead.

They just keep coming from those Top-Men from the other side of the pond.

by tac on Mon 15 Oct 2007, 00:53

Lara Lara Laughs wrote:
Gary 111 wrote:I wouldn't have thought Winston Churchill was a barrel of laughs either.

And Liam Gallagher? All his best lines were written for him by Noel for a start.

Though these surveys are usually made by someone walking around Iceland with a clipboard.

Are you joking? Churchill was the man.

Churchill quotes:

From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy and the lash.

And there's that famous Churchill at a party one.

Some woman: Winston, you're drunk!

Winston: Ah yes, but in the mourning I shall be sober whereas you shall always be ugly.

And:

Some woman: If I were your wife I'd poison your tea.

Winston: If you were my wife, I'd drink it.

Amazing what a quick google can come up with. BTW, Did you notice that The Pogues used that line from Churchill for the title of their 2nd album "Rum, sodomy and the lash".

by taipan on Mon 15 Oct 2007, 00:53

tac wrote:
taipan wrote:
tac wrote:Who is surprised to find LLL reading Wilde's complete works? Looking for the dirty bits, no doubt.

No one.

Judging by the lack of comments on it

And what a little bitch you've become.

I bow to the master.

by tac on Mon 15 Oct 2007, 00:54

taipan wrote:
tac wrote:
taipan wrote:
tac wrote:Who is surprised to find LLL reading Wilde's complete works? Looking for the dirty bits, no doubt.

No one.

Judging by the lack of comments on it

And what a little bitch you've become.

I bow to the master.

touche!

by Gary 111 on Mon 15 Oct 2007, 00:55

There's an old saying in Tennessee - i know its in Texas. Probably in Tennessee. That says - fool me once ... ... shame on, ... shame on... you. Fool me, you can't get fooled again!

by tac on Mon 15 Oct 2007, 00:57

Gary 111 wrote:There's an old saying in Tennessee - i know its in Texas. Probably in Tennessee. That says - fool me once ... ... shame on, ... shame on... you. Fool me, you can't get fooled again!

WTF? Isn't it fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me?

by taipan on Mon 15 Oct 2007, 00:59

tac wrote:
Gary 111 wrote:There's an old saying in Tennessee - i know its in Texas. Probably in Tennessee. That says - fool me once ... ... shame on, ... shame on... you. Fool me, you can't get fooled again!

WTF? Isn't it fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me?

Sure had me fooled

by tac on Mon 15 Oct 2007, 00:59

taipan wrote:
tac wrote:
Gary 111 wrote:There's an old saying in Tennessee - i know its in Texas. Probably in Tennessee. That says - fool me once ... ... shame on, ... shame on... you. Fool me, you can't get fooled again!

WTF? Isn't it fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me?

Sure had me fooled

Wat you talkin bout, fool?

by Merlin on Mon 15 Oct 2007, 01:04

JKLever wrote:
taipan wrote:
JKLever wrote:Weren't Oscar wilde & Spike Milligan oirish?

So much so that Spike could never get a British passport.

After the death of friend Harry Secombe from cancer, he said, "I'm glad he
died before me, because I didn't want him to sing at my funeral."

Gold

.... And he wanted "I told you I was ill" inscribed on his tombstone.

Did he ever get his wish?

by doctorspin on Mon 15 Oct 2007, 01:08

Merlin wrote:
JKLever wrote:
taipan wrote:
JKLever wrote:Weren't Oscar wilde & Spike Milligan oirish?

So much so that Spike could never get a British passport.

After the death of friend Harry Secombe from cancer, he said, "I'm glad he
died before me, because I didn't want him to sing at my funeral."

Gold

.... And he wanted "I told you I was ill" inscribed on his tombstone.

Did he ever get his wish?

That was a great one as well. Apparently the Church were he was buried wouldn't allow it......humourless cnuts.

by Dello on Mon 15 Oct 2007, 05:41

I like Top Gear.

James May is the funniest of the trio, though.

That's all. Carry on.

by Guest on Mon 15 Oct 2007, 05:44

Did you see it yesterday?
Loved the English Channel crossing in their amphibious crafts!
Didn't think they'd actually make it.

by Dello on Mon 15 Oct 2007, 05:45

Actually that's not all - Clarkson deserves some kind of praise for taking umbrage at something professional scum-sucker Piers Pugh Morgan wrote about him and seeking him out at an awards dinner and punching him in the face.

And then, when he'd got back to his feet, punching him in the face again.