The best Odi batsman in the world...He's so grrreewwvvyy

Christopher Henry Gayle

Welcome, Aberforth. And well done on mastering the video embed cods.

I hope you like it hot, the SRT fans will be online en masse shortly. They're gonna eat you alive!

Zat wrote:Welcome, Aberforth. And well done on mastering the video embed cods.

I hope you like it hot, the SRT fans will be online en masse shortly. They're gonna eat you alive!

Thanks for the welcome. I have been searching for a decent cricket message board for the longest while.

SRT fans should be concerned now that he has been surpassed in batting excellence by the Mighty CHG

Where's Dave Warner?

that probably killed A Rauf's international career.

Aberforth wrote:
Thanks for the welcome. I have been searching for a decent cricket message board for the longest while.

Let us know when you find one. We might move there.

embee wrote:Where's Dave Warner?

He's in Australia wondering why Gayle is sooo ggggreeeewwwwvvvyyy

JGK wrote:


Let us know when you find one. We might move there.

ah poor dello might read this...

Dave Warner is Mark Nicholas?

PlanetPakistan wrote:

JGK wrote:


Let us know when you find one. We might move there.

ah poor dello might read this...

Dello can read?

I can Chris Read. Which I believe is a controversial underground dance-move where you sort of crouch down and soil yourself whilst crying.

Like the Mashed Potato. But different. More crying. And soiling.

shabaash carry on with that

Welcome Aberforth. A few words of advice on navigating this community of moody sharks.

The Australians can get nasty, but worry not. They are non discriminating in that they usually eat their own before they'll get to you. So when in trouble with the Aussies, shout "Tozzie/ Eozzie/ Sozzie/ Wozzie rule!". Or say " What about Binga/ Tugga/ Mugga (create any word you like) eh? eh?". Throw in an imagine cricket stat, such as - Bradman scored 74.54 on first day of Shrove Tuesday, which, (would you believe it?) is the square root of Binga's strike rate - and you'll be fine. They'll set to each other, and you should manage to get away with your skin intact.

Never accuse an Aussie forummer of sooking/ whinging. Sooking is Un Australian. Australians do not sook. Even their women do not sook. You can sleep with an Aussie's wife and he may slap your back and offer you a beer. But accuse him about sooking and you are likely to 'severely upset' him. You get the point about sooking?

Which, coincidentally. takes me to the English. The English like to sook. To them sooking is the equivalent of a hot cup of tea. It's bread and jam. It's marmalade and scones. Etc.

The difference is that they don't care that their team lost because the opposing team fielded 22 players, or because the Umpire was also the opposing team manager and cheated his ar$e off, or because their boys were forced to play overseas buck nekkid in 50 degrees heat one legged, while the locals flung faeces and abuse.

No the English like to sook about their own team. They are born believing that their team is $hit. They are unwilling to believe anything else. Even their best players are, in reality, $hit waiting to 'happen'. The players playing are $hit. The replacements are $hit. The previous selectors and coach were $hit. The current selectors and coach are $hit. The future selectors and coach are likely to be...You get the picture.

Incidentally, the Aussies and the English also believe that 'cricket' is a synonym for the 'Ashes'.

Sooking and cheating takes me to the Indians. Like the British, the Indians also like to sook. To them, a good sook clears the sinuses, cures asthma. But unlike the British, the Indians like to mostly sook about anything but their team - for example the Umpire, the opposing fans, the weather, racism, etc. When not sooking they are likely to accuse the opposition/ Umpire of cheating.

The Indians believe they are winners all the way. An Indian team never loses; it just declares a moral victory. Only one team was playing in the spirit of the game (an Indian actually said that first), and it sure as $hit ain't yours.

By the way, say anything against SRT and I'll cut your ar$e with a machete.

You may also have noticed by now that Indians like to write fifty words where one will do?

Speaking of winners takes me to the few South Africans present here. They are uncertain about winning. They don't know how to celebrate a win, even when they've won. Have we really won? Oh dear, must show restraint.

Their restraint is a win-win situation for everyone here. .

Cricket and comedy reminds me of Pakistani fans. Their only purpose here is to remind you that their team doesn't actually play cricket. And may not for the next one year. You can secretly laugh at them while making sympathetic noises. Or, like most on here, you can just laugh at them.

Hope that helps.

Nice work Furry

If you were an Ozzie ...you'd almost be allowed to be a Wozzie