What a gorgeous day!

Spent it playing an awesome game of cricket followed by a kick-around at the park.

I took 6 wickets and scored 59 runs. As I was playing with and against some classy Indian batsman and some seriously quick Pakistani bowlers, I reckon that's pretty good. Preeettty, preeety, preeety good.

Lara Lara Laughs wrote:Spent it playing an awesome game of cricket followed by a kick-around at the park.

I took 6 wickets and scored 59 runs. As I was playing with and against some classy Indian batsman and some seriously quick Pakistani bowlers, I reckon that's pretty good. Preeettty, preeety, preeety good.

I have scored treble hattricks in park football. From goal!

I am probably the best park football player ever.

I doubt it. I like to think of myself as the bastard love child of Ian Botham and Zinedine Zidane when I play at the park.

Lara Lara Laughs wrote:I doubt it. I like to think of myself as the bastard love child of Ian Botham and Zinedine Zidane when I play at the park.

Fellow players once called one of my goals, 'Liquid poetry in motion'.

i am jealous... every time i play footie i go to kick the ball...

this is followed by dislocation of the knee or torn cartilage or damaged meniscus.

and it could happen to either knee.

walking is enough effort for me

so in light of the above, would anyone like to donate me a leg? must be able to carry 80 kilos and capable of at least 2mph.

any offers please email me!

PearlJ wrote:

Lara Lara Laughs wrote:I doubt it. I like to think of myself as the bastard love child of Ian Botham and Zinedine Zidane when I play at the park.

Fellow players once called one of my goals, 'Liquid poetry in motion'.

Yeah? Passers by often spontaneously shit themselves when they see one of my awesome net busters.

Lara Lara Laughs wrote:

PearlJ wrote:

Lara Lara Laughs wrote:I doubt it. I like to think of myself as the bastard love child of Ian Botham and Zinedine Zidane when I play at the park.

Fellow players once called one of my goals, 'Liquid poetry in motion'.

Yeah? Passers by often spontaneously shit themselves when they see one of my awesome net busters.

Nets? Pfft? We don't even have the luxury. We play barefoot on hot coals interspersed with broken glass.

That is our dedication.

Hot coals? Hot coals he says? What wouldn't I have given for hot coals? We had to play on molten lava interspersed with landmines. Sharp molten lava it was too, none of this soft stuff.

Started out as a teen-fest.

Oh we dream of playing on landmines! It'd be like Wembley to us. We play in a crater full of shit with sides so steep it's impossible to get out. After playing 28 hours a day in this Sisyphean nightmare and paying for the privilege, we go home and get stabbed to death by our parents.

Landmines! The luxury!

What can I say, except that getting stabbed to death is the best part of our playing day. Amateurs.

What a gorgeous day, ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding.

Well you all know, you do all of that just so you can be as good as me in the playing field. Have to say the methods have to better. Landmines and hot coals are well enough for the footwork, but there's nothing like some rabid man-eating tigers to improve your speed.

All the sounds of the earth are like music,
All the sounds of the earth are like music,
The breeze is so busy it don't miss a tree,
And an ol' Wee-pin' Wil-ler is laugh-in' a-t meeeeee:::