Glossary suggestions, amendments, commentary.

PeterCS wrote:Nice allusion by Angela!

Brass Monkey wrote:

PeterCS wrote:sunflower seed - Ian Bell - balls - crunch.

You have just put me off health food.

I hope you are sorry.

I doubt it. Chasney's on a tirade of epic proportions. Whilst I agree that IRB is a malteaser-balled shitbag who feasts on dross and on the good times, I am rather peturbed at the extent CH has gone to. I think he is going to murder him, which will be counter-productive as Bell'd be made some sort of iconic hero who was a brilliant player for England.

Lara Lara Laughs wrote:

Brass Monkey wrote:

PeterCS wrote:sunflower seed - Ian Bell - balls - crunch.

You have just put me off health food.

I hope you are sorry.

I doubt it. Chasney's on a tirade of epic proportions. Whilst I agree that IRB is a malteaser-balled shitbag who feasts on dross and on the good times, I am rather peturbed at the extent CH has gone to. I think he is going to murder him, which will be counter-productive as Bell'd be made some sort of iconic hero who was a brilliant player for England.

Yeah, something like -

Obituary

Ian Bell - Family man, martyr, legend.

England cricketer Ian Ronald Bell was cruelly slain by a deranged southerner in the early hours of Sunday morning. Neighbours report a squeal of fear followed by shrieks of "score some pressure runs you f*cking shitbag". Bell, 25, was found with his skull caved in by a cricket bat. Police reports indicate that the bat was inscribed with the words "charlie's blade of justice" but they are yet to decipher this clever code. Analysis of the crime scene suggests that the killer was attempting to spell out "this one's for you merlin" on the bedroom floor with Bell's blood.

Forensic scientists believe that Bell made a spirited defence but only after forcing his cat, dog and 4 year old child to go out there and defend him first. In a cruel twist of fate, Bell's widowed wife has told reporters that Bell often practiced martial arts and was Chuck Norris-like in practice. Sadly, it seems the pressure of a vicious madman was all too much for him. Not much is known about the killer but a national manhunt will inevitably take place in the next few days.

Bell was regarded as a great prospect and was a mainstay of the English team in the last few years of his life. Often said to be on the cusp of greatness, Bell was showered with awards and adulation during his all too brief stay on this earth. Dayle Hadlee once said of Bell "he's the best 16 year old batsman I've ever seen" and Dayle Hadlee knows about these things.

Long time companion Michael Vaughan had this to say about his great friend: "Belly was a great man and a great player. I'm just glad his family weren't harmed. That's a positive". Fellow England youngster Monty Panesar recalls how Bell helped him settle into the England side. "Well, you know, he was brilliant with me and, you know, this is a tragedy and, you know, we'll come out tomorrow and try to put them under pressure by bowling a tight line and length. Cheers Aggers". The funeral will take place next weekend and a 2 minutes silence is expected to be observed across the land.


Bell is survived by Dangermouse, Chip 'n' Dale, Jerry, Speedy Gonzalez, Itchy, Pinky and the Brain, Ratatouille, Master Splinter and all other rodent related creatures.

lardbucket wrote:Some good stuff there, even by LLL.

(ducks)

Bell = Master Splinter?

eowyn wrote:

PeterCS wrote:Nice allusion by Angela!

We must be the only old Charlton Heaton/Sophie Lauren film watchers, Peter.

skully wrote:So lardy, you are the dutiful office scribe while Zoggy is Perry White?

lardbucket wrote:

eowyn wrote:

PeterCS wrote:Nice allusion by Angela!

We must be the only old Charlton Heaton/Sophie Lauren film watchers, Peter.

Who's this Lauren chick of whom you speak?

Goodness gracious me!