Pakistan v England, 1st ODI, Abu Dhabi, 13 February, 2012

An absolute plethora of bleakness.

Pakistan going in with five spinners.

I think England's Achilles heel has been rumbled...

Our second string displaying their crapularity, let's hope they're under management orders to do so! Only Woakes, Little Jimmy and the number 11 Brooks made double figures... was sort of hoping they might leave the senior side with egg on their faces here.

Waste of a warm up game. They'll have learned nothing - except that the up and coming batsmen are absolute turdwaffles.

Ehhhhhh??? I know it's hit-and-giggle cubed but HTF are England chasing 230 when the Lions got bowled out for 96??????

Cor, Cookie... Cookiieeeee... you can certainly block the living sh!t out of the ball. 40 off 65 balls, plenty of those balls in the powerplays. Excellent sh!t. Excellent.

Oh, I'm gutted that Buttler's f*cked.

Brass Monkey wrote:Ehhhhhh??? I know it's hit-and-giggle cubed but HTF are England chasing 230 when the Lions got bowled out for 96??????

Can't bat, can't bowl, can't catch, can't count.

But, if they were like 'no, we want more runs to chase - we'll set the target' which is what I assume they've done??

THEN WHY DID THEY SET IT AT SOME F*CKING VANILLA FOUR POINT F*CKING SIX AN OVER??? WTF????? 'OOOH YEAH, WE'LL CHASE DOWN 230 - THAT'S WHAT MOST INTERNATIONAL TEAMS SET US'

Because the obviously factored into the equation: "It'll look sh!t if we set ourselves a challenging target and lose to a bunch of turds."

Safety first. Save face first.

Aye, but 'morally' they've already won.

I reckon they look worse human beings than if they'd have just chased down 96

Briggs to Cook, OUT, giving the charge, completely missing the line.

Nah, surely not.

Brass Monkey wrote:Briggs to Cook, OUT, giving the charge, completely missing the line.

Nah, surely not.

S/R 74, though. Greased lightning.

That's not bad for someone who doesn't get to bat through 15 power play overs... oh. No, that's appalling.

Aye and that's after a quick dart in the middle!

I just went and worked it out. He faced 52 PP balls for 32 runs. Yes, that's a S/R of 61.

32 runs. 52 balls.

One could call that a shambles without sounding too dramatic.

I'd call it a shambles whilst recoiling backwards, overcome and short of breath, into the comforting arms of a burly stablehand - and it still wouldn't be dramatic enough.

Dello wrote:I'd call it a shambles whilst recoiling backwards, overcome and short of breath, into the comforting arms of a burly stablehand - and it still wouldn't be dramatic enough.

Well, just to bolster the point, he shielded the best times from KP - who faced 26 balls and scored 28 in the powerplays (then he got out not long into the 2nd set of powerplays). So possibly the cleanest hitter in the side gets to face just over four overs when there's fielding restrictions. Calamity.