A rant about Kevin Pietersen

At least Trott puts a price on his wicket in all forms of cricket. Thank f*ck the likes of him and Cook will never be made complacent and sloppy by things like the IPL.

I remember when he first started in ODIs, KP coming to the wicket and working the ball around sensibly, looking solid, and playing proper cricket shots, until he slipped a gear in the 40th over, by which time his eye was well and truly in, and he could make merry. He batted like it was him verses the World and he wasn't going to give an inch.

Now he just tries to see how many different cute little shots he can play in an innings of 15, before he slogs one to a fielder in the deep, shrugs his shoulders, and walks off, safe in the knowledge that he's now a very rich man with other options should his England career go south. The c*nt.

Happens to the best. I would be more worried if his test batting took a regular dip. At least he better than Michael Clarke and Punter in tests atm. And since when did the English start getting so bugged about their players one day form?

I think his test batting is quite similar in fact. It's just that he has a knack of playing a blinder just as people are getting really fed up with him, such as his double century in this Ashes, or his lucky Warne-dropped series saver in 2005.

Henry wrote:

I remember when he first started in ODIs, KP coming to the wicket and working the ball around sensibly, looking solid, and playing proper cricket shots, until he slipped a gear in the 40th over, by which time his eye was well and truly in, and he could make merry.

You mean like he did two games ago?

Yeah, terminal decline has set in...

Batman wrote:And since when did the English start getting so bugged about their players one day form?

Mudge isn't representative of "the English".

Or people.

Yes, but there is no consistency at all. In test cricket in the last year or so, he's made one huge score surrounded by a lot of low ones, and in ODIs, he averages something like 20 in his last 50 games.
And it's not like he's always out to brilliant bowling. 90% of his dismissals are down to loose shots.

Batman wrote:Happens to the best. I would be more worried if his test batting took a regular dip.

1 hundred in his last 20 tests for kp

I'm with Mudge, it's just laziness IMO. Not willing to battle his hubris. He just isn't thinking enough about the bowlers. Thinks they aren't good enough, which they probably aren't, but they aren't total shitweasels. He brings his own downfall more than most batsmen.

Saying all of this, I'm still a squealing fanboy of his and being as sh!t as he has been he's still clearly the best player we have.

The One wrote:

Batman wrote:Happens to the best. I would be more worried if his test batting took a regular dip.

1 hundred in his last 20 tests for kp

Plus four 90's where he got out batting like a twat each time.

Brass Monkey wrote:

The One wrote:

Batman wrote:Happens to the best. I would be more worried if his test batting took a regular dip.

1 hundred in his last 20 tests for kp

Plus four 90's where he got out batting like a twat each time.

in the last 20 tests he only has one score in the 90s

5 in his career as a whole

Brass Monkey wrote:I'm with Mudge, it's just laziness IMO. Not willing to battle his hubris. He just isn't thinking enough about the bowlers. Thinks they aren't good enough, which they probably aren't, but they aren't total shitweasels. He brings his own downfall more than most batsmen.

Saying all of this, I'm still a squealing fanboy of his and being as sh!t as he has been he's still clearly the best player we have.

He's always found inventive ways of spunking his wicket up the wall, but I don't see any reason for Mudge's rant (other than a sandy vagina), given that he's been in poor form in all cricket, post-achilles injury - but has started to turn the corner since this tour started and begun to look like his game is getting back into shape.

Three ODIs in: one excellent knock, one decent first-baller, one dickhead shot - it's hardly time to bring out the old "Pietersen just doesn't care enough for me and my sofa and my crippling sense of bloated fury that I must live in a world where people don't succeed on my behalf".

Dello wrote:

Brass Monkey wrote:I'm with Mudge, it's just laziness IMO. Not willing to battle his hubris. He just isn't thinking enough about the bowlers. Thinks they aren't good enough, which they probably aren't, but they aren't total shitweasels. He brings his own downfall more than most batsmen.

Saying all of this, I'm still a squealing fanboy of his and being as sh!t as he has been he's still clearly the best player we have.

He's always found inventive ways of spunking his wicket up the wall, but I don't see any reason for Mudge's rant (other than a sandy vagina), given that he's been in poor form in all cricket, post-achilles injury - but has started to turn the corner since this tour started and begun to look like his game is getting back into shape.

Three ODIs in: one excellent knock, one decent first-baller, one dickhead shot - it's hardly time to bring out the old "Pietersen just doesn't care enough for me and my sofa and my crippling sense of bloated fury that I must live in a world where people don't succeed on my behalf".

So when you criticise a player it's ok, but when i do it's "my crippling sense of bloated fury that I must live in a World where people don't succeed on my behalf?" FFS Dello. You can criticise with the best of them. Have done all winter. Didn't realise KP was bringing your spoof to the surface every evening.

I can understand his achilles injury affecting his footwork a bit, and making him slightly less nimble on his feet, but the way he gets out, that doesn't seem to be the case. It's usually just a daft, low percentage shot that brings about his downfall. Again. And again. And he's meant to be the most senior batsman in the team now along with Strauss.

The whole, "Oh it's KP. He'sll be alright. Might piss it away most of the time, but sooner or later that blue moon will come along and he'll single handedly win us a big match."

Trott and Cook won us matches this winter. Big matches. But they're not a drama queen, pouting ex South African with a pop star girlfriend, so it's not as special.

With his talent, he should be averaging 55 and being considered a great player, but it seems like he's settled for being 'good to very good' with an average of 48.

The One wrote:
in the last 20 tests he only has one score in the 90s

5 in his career as a whole

My mistake, must've been some 80s or something. Not excusing it anyhow.

Dello wrote:
He's always found inventive ways of spunking his wicket up the wall, but I don't see any reason for Mudge's rant (other than a sandy vagina), given that he's been in poor form in all cricket, post-achilles injury - but has started to turn the corner since this tour started and begun to look like his game is getting back into shape.

Three ODIs in: one excellent knock, one decent first-baller, one dickhead shot - it's hardly time to bring out the old "Pietersen just doesn't care enough for me and my sofa and my crippling sense of bloated fury that I must live in a world where people don't succeed on my behalf".

No, you're right, I just tire of the consistently annoying ways he brings his own untimely demise. If I'd finished myself off by the time he did them, I'm sure I wouldn't be griping.

Henry wrote:

With his talent, he should be averaging 55 and being considered a great player, but it seems like he's settled for being 'good to very good' with an average of 48.

Whether he's "settled" for it is merely conjecture. However, 48 still makes him our best bat - or it will when Trott's numbers settle down.

Where are the threads for the soft dismissals of Strauss, Bell and Morgan? Or are they exempt from such rants as the expectation that they'll single-handedly carry the show is that much lower? Or their testicles are made of chocolate and that's basically a disability so cut them some slack?

It's ironic that Bells form warranted inclusion at the top of the order, and by sheer luck he's found himself able to revert to malteser balls in the middle overs.